Sloshed Santas All Around!

This weekend’s annual SantaCon brought out what looks like THOUSANDS of Santa and Santa-inspired New Yorkers all looking to spread a little Christmas cheer in a jolly, drunken manner. The celebration found its’ start in 1994 and has grown so much in popularity that today it is celebrated in over 60 countries! However, the website for SantaCon would rather us dispel the notions of it being a gathering for drunken St. Nicks to sing Yuletide praises even though barstops are promoted on their website.

But these are Santas of character and morals.
That said, they do have a few rules for the celebration.

* Santa looks like Santa. HOLIDAY APPAREL IS MANDATORY. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Get creative: be a Secret Santa, a Santasaurus, Candy-cane, a Reindeer, a Chanukah Chicken, a goddamn latke, Stewardess Santa, Knight Rider Santa, Crusty Peace Punk Santa, the occasional Legless Reindeer, Chanukah Squirrel, Emo-Elf, or the Santichrist.

Just don’t wear your fucking jeans.
* Santa acts like Santa. Be jolly. Belly-laugh. Let people sit on your lap. Give out gifts.
Santa loves reindeer games, stripper poles and creatively concealed guzzle-ables.

* Santa doesn’t seek media attention. “Ho-ho-ho” is good. “Publicity ho” is lame.

* Santa doesn’t get arrested. Please remember theFOUR FUCKS:

1. Don’t fuck with kids.
2. Don’t fuck with cops.
3. Don’t fuck with security.
4. Don’t fuck with Santa.

At least they’re law-abiding jolly Santas.

We give full marks to the Santa Storm Trooper. Ha!
Other than that, sounds like it was a jolly ole time!


1 Comment

  1. Pradeep said,

    December 14, 2009 at 22:27

    What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic ~ Anonymous.

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